Deflowering. There are lots of phrases that describe the loss of virginity. But what does virginity actually mean? Here's what really happens the first time you have sex. is unique. In fact, it's not unusual to be born without one. to stretch or tear, it does not cause a girl to lose her virginity. (Only having sex can do that.) It may take some practice putting in a tampon for the first time. Having a broken hymen doesn't necessarily mean a woman has lost her virginity. If you're concerned about bleeding after sex, get advice from your GP or your. Have you recently lost your virginity, and were disappointed to find that you space for the penetration of a penis, finger, or object without pain.